i folded a thousand paper cranes looking for fairies whenever it rains catching the stars shooting from heaven checking the clock for 11:11 eyelashes between my fingers i press cracking a wishbone with no success birthday candles out, all in one blow ladybug’s trust and firefly’s glow dandelions…
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“I’m a slut because I’ll wear shorts and a tank top. I’m a bitch because I don’t let you push me around. I’m a liar because I won’t tell you everything. I’m stupid because sometimes I’m wrong. I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect. I’m a whore because I like boys. I’m annoying because I’m not…
i freaked out when you stopped talking and i couldnt calm myself down when you left me. then you werent there and i felt alone and when there was no response from anything, i cried. when proof surfaced you were there for others, i felt betrayed.
Hi grandpa! Did you see me today? I was watching auntie give you a brand new suit. I hope you like it! Do you have pants? O_O" grandpa, please don't flas the ladies up there. Grandma still loves you (:
every morning she talks about you and how she wants me to be great. Grandpa even though I never met you, I feel like I've known you for a long time. I always hear stories for mommy and jia jia about you tying up their hair and stuff. I'm jealous. Grandpa, I never had my hair tied up by you. Why am I the unlucky grandchild? Well I know I'm not unlucky because I have an abundance of everything that some other people don't have. Grandpa did you hear me today? If not, will you please give some of your riches away to those who don't have any? Because I know some of them don't have any loved ones visiting them. Please? I love you (:
To Stanley (mommy's music instructor):
Hello there! (:
do you remember me? I used to sleep on the couch once in a while. I went out to dinner with you. You would hold my hands super tight and sing karaoke. And then I would dance with you. Did you see my hoodie? It has choir on it. Are you proud of me? I'm starting my own musical dreams (: as much as I love singing and wanting a teacher I know that there isn't any better teacher other than you (: thanks for all the good times my mommy had with you. I thank you for taking good care of her. I love you (: have you met my grandpa up there yet?
Why am I always the one who have to set the good example for people that are younger?! Why does it matter that I’ve been in church all my life and committed to church? I’m not perfect. Yeah, maybe I have become more distant from God but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love enough. Just because I have a boyfriend it doesn’t mean that I’ve become more distant. Because I have a looser side on my hands doesn’t mean that I’ve become more distant. No matter what I do outside of church, I still love Jesus. Other than my family and boyfriend, God is my number 1 priority. And I WILL keep running back to him no matter how far I am from him. So get off my butt and go watch Isabel. She needs more help than I do. Thanks Isabel for ratting me out. Btw that wasn’t ralph. That was kevin.
I never said it had to go my way! Where have I been for the past 3 days?! With you! I blocked out all my fucking friends because of you! And I want things my way?! Just because I didn’t want to eat doesn’t mean anything! It just means that I’m not hungry so deal with it! I’m tired of you yelling at me for something I didn’t do! I’m tired of you telling me what to do! And you think things have to go MY way?! No, that’s what you think but its not true. Because you want it your way or no way. If we can’t do something right you get upset too. So its not always me. I’m sick of you ordering me around. Yeah, I owe a lot to you but that doesn’t mean you treat me like your bitch. You might have done a lot for me but you also do some things for yourself. Sometimes I wonder if we would have a better relationship if daddy was around. Yeah ok, maybe he never really cared but at least he loves me because I’m his daughter and I know he’d do anything for me unlike you. You have to debate whether or not to do it. Even if its not the right thing, I understand why you would say no. But sometimes its not all about you or me. Gahhh! D: